You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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