go do what you do best...puke behind churches
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
