Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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