Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
