Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
FUCK WHALES
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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