Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Randomize
