she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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