jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
