hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize