My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
