dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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