We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
