I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
