if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
