his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
