i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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