:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
