I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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