we're blogging at a bar
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
