Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
