see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
wow bdsm is so cute
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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