the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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