So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Sext me about skeletons
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
