If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
