How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize