Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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