Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
