some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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