hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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