We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
