she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
