Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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