I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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