i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
