i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
