There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize