My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
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