I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
