I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
