How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
