So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
