she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I need a beard to bite.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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