My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
