it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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