Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
