You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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