perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
