everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
