Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize