You're completely useless in the revolution.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
