when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
