dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
