it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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