I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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