we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
