I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize