What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
