Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
