Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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