ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
