i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
