So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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