I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
