when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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