in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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