I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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